It's the Recession, Didiot!

UFO Recession Tip 76 - Run Barefoot

Earthlings, we see your obsession with shoes. All kinds of shoes. We viewed your reruns of the TV show Sex and the City. The main character, Carrie, is obsessed about buying shoes. She would rather buy a new pair of shoes than eat.

We see human teens and young adults spend money on basketball shoes that are so expensive it makes us scratch our heads. Why do these shoes cost so much?

I do not understand the Earthling concept of fashion. We do not wear clothing on our planet, and no shoes, tattoos, hats or jewelry. Fashion is illogical to me. My wife Meera and my son Zorkey have gotten the hang of it much better than I have.

From what I understand, fashionable "stuff" makes humans more attractive to the opposite sex. You purchase clothing, cars and shoes. I have been told these things makes you look "cool." Once again, this is all illogical. The easiest, quickest

Recession Tip 75 - How to Eat Out Cheaply

Earthlings, for reasons we do not understand, you have a social need to get out among other humans to consume your meal. We do not understand the concept of restaurants. Why do Earthlings wish to have a complete stranger prepare a meal for them when you can do it at home?

From our human studies and observations, we learned that humans go to restaurants to feed so they may meet other humans. Also, many humans are just plain too lazy to move their fannies and make a meal. There seems to be some deep subconscious satisfaction in having another human serve your meal. This deep rooted need must come from the old ages where kings and queens were served and looked upon 24/7. Earthlings, no matter what you believe, your most likely do not have a family lineage from a king or queen. It is mathematically impossible for half of the planet to be descendant of royalty.

Recession Tip 74 - Wheatgrass: The Perfect Recession-proof Food

Earthlings, we have discovered a perfect food that costs almost nothing to grow yourself at home. It is a healthy power boost to the human body for energy and superior health. Drink this superfood to operate your body more effectively for longer period of time, save money on doctor's visits and be green like us.

This magic, green food goes by the simple name of WHEATGRASS. Here are 10 stellar reasons to thoroughly enjoy drinking this delightfully green nectar:

Reason 1: Wheatgrass is super healthy. Earthlings, there is no need to be a hypochondriac anymore. This green leafy, vegetable food contains 13 vitamins, several antioxidants and many minerals and enzymes. These nutrients are absorbed by the body in 20 minutes. Wheatgrass helps the human body overcome many types of illnesses so there is no need to imagine being sick again. If any Earthling complains about their health again, just feed them some wheat grass and tell them to stop wasting money on doctor visits.

Reason 2: Wheatgrass is low calorie. We do not understand why so many humans are overweight. This is not logical. Why be over weight when you can be healthy? Yes, many low cost foods are not healthy. However, wheatgrass contains only 10 to 15 calories per teaspoon, and no fat or cholesterol. This will enable you to keep your body lean and mean for those pleasurable physical activities.

UFO Recession Tip 73 - Top 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money

Earthling, blogging is a highly enjoyable way to pass the time until we figure out how to fix our saucy saucer for intergalactic travel. We are highly intelligent, super-smart beings and we are one million years more advanced than you... but we do not hold that against you. We love Earthlings! We are happy to help you by offering tips on how to survive your economic recession.

We are marooned on this beautiful planet thanks to Bubba from Stephenville, Texas shooting us down. Do not be frightened of us. We only want to help you not be a Didiot. Blogging is the most efficient way for us to communicate with as many humans as possible.  We also offer green tips on how to save you planet from Earthlings.

ItsthePlanetDidiot.com - Green tips to save planet Earth from Earthlings
ZorkPlanet.com - Intergalactic VIP Lounge for green social network.

Competition is stiff. There are over 112 million blogs listed on Technorati at the end of 2007!    We see you and we know that not every blogger is making money.

Google makes hordes of money from bloggers using Adsense. In order to set the injustice straight, we offer 10 Blogger Recession Tips to Make Money.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 1 - Bill Collector: As you build your blogging empire, working day and night, consider supplementing your income by simultaneously working part time job as a bill collector. The bill collection industry is going gang busters because there are so many good humans behind with their bills.

If you are one of the millions of bloggers, you may be behind on your bills and have bill collectors calling you, demanding money. If you can't beat them, join them. You can be on the phone collecting and write your blog at the same time. Multi-task, my dear Earthling.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 2 - Baby Sitter: It is easy to blog while babysitting young humans. Blog while they nap, teach the kids to drop EntreCards for you. You can blog about baby sitting while you blog. One full circle of blogging.

Blogger Money-Making Scheme 3 - Dog Sitter and/or Dog Walker: You can double the money by taking care of animals such as dogs as you babysit and blog. The kids can help with the pets. Take pictures of the pets and blog about them. We particularly love Holy Cuteness web site. Please visit it for some cute entertainment.